Diva (definition) adj. pronounced (DEE-VAH) 1. a female version of a hustler 2. to describe a person who exudes great style and personality with confidence and expresses their own style and not letting others influence who they are or want to be.
There were some other perks to having dated a big rapper. I was getting very well known everywhere and the major modeling contracts and gigs were rolling in. I had modeled for some major lines before, but now I was getting national recognition, not just in town. I was traveling all over the world working and vacationing. I was so happy when I started gaining success and covering top magazines.
I met with my agent Charlie, he let me know that I was high in demand from designers and fashion houses. He thought since I recently started modeling again that going overseas to Paris to work for a little bit would be good exposure for me. I was going to have the opportunity to model for some of the biggest Haute Couture fashion houses in the world.
I would first go to Paris with Taina and Fallion for a special Louis Vuitton campaign Elle magazine was shooting. Honestly, I thought the jumpsuit Taina had on was sort of tacky, but I guess that was the whole point of the photo shoot, to promote the LV brand. They were with me in Paris all of three days, I was there for three weeks.
I didn’t really have time to dwell on my lack of a social life in France. I stayed busy. The Chanel shoot I did for French Vogue was probably the hardest one I have ever done. It was a lot of pressure for an American, especially a black American female to represent the label correctly and feature in such a high profile magazine. I did my best though, and it paid off.
It’s one thing to do runway and fashion spreads, but television was a whole different ballgame, everyone would see me! I was absolutely right. The commercial was extremely successful, Bodycology felt I was a natural and wanted to work with me again.
My career just took off from then. I was on the cover of Self, Cosmo Girl and not the mention the biggest of them all, Vogue! I felt light headed when Charlie told me they wanted to feature me on the cover. It was a dream come true, every model worth her stilettos wants to cover Vogue, and I did.
A girl can’t have too much success before the naysayers start murmuring and saying things like, “She is only this big because she is dating a hip hop mogul, or she’s a gold digger who uses her other assets to get what she wants”. I chose to turn a deaf ear to all that nonsense. I earned everything I have, and I wasn’t going to let anyone take that away from me. If they want to say I got where I am because of who I was dating, fine, I was still cashing checks and making moves.
Both Ra$hin and my schedule had been so busy. With me out of the country then coming home and doing a major television ad, I had barely seen or heard from Ra. His album was going to drop very soon and the singles he had released after ‘Stuntin’On ‘Em’ were doing very well on the charts.
He had shot two more videos since we were in Miami. I didn’t accompany him for those as I was occupied with my own life and job. I sort of got the feeling Ra$hin regretted my recent surge of success as it kept me very busy. He was the type of guy that liked his woman available to him when he was ready for her. I don’t think he really cared if I had gone with him out of town for his other video shoots but I got the feeling with all the parties, promotions and other things he was frequenting lately he’d rather I was available.
I’m not stupid, a big part of a successful rapper’s career was his image. It paid for him to be seen with a well known top model like myself. Ours being a couple seemed to be everyone’s business. Our relationship gave us both a huge amount of success. There wasn’t a day that goes by that I didn’t see my name or his pop up on my Google Alert, Twitter, Facebook, or some gossip site. They were always talking about us on the biggest hip hop radio stations in the country.
I wasn’t with him only because of who he was. I also don’t believe he was with me just because of my occupation. Of course a man like Ra
wasn’t going to be with an ordinary basic looking woman either. Dating him certainly did make ‘Reagan Leeds’ a household name. I guess you could say we were using each other a little bit and that was all perfectly fine.
I had an upcoming runway show for the French designer Pascal. It was a small private viewing for some of the industry’s top leaders such as Vogue Editor-In-Chief Vanna Pintour. I was never intimidated by anyone, but I admit that woman scared me a little bit.
Ra$hin actually managed to come to the show. I was surprised he was able to get away from his work.
I met this model backstage named Amil Carlo. I had been told by others she thought she was running things when she walked for Pascal because she was his muse. Well, she had never met me before.
Now I have had my share of run-ins with other models who try to sabotage you backstage at a show or on a photo shoot, but this heffa was ridiculous. She decided she wanted to wear the shoes I had picked out for one of the dresses I would be modeling.
“These shoes were specifically picked out for me! I always get my pick of what I want at these shows!” Amil yelled at me.
“Well you’re not getting your pick now, and Pascal said we could wear whatever shoes we wanted and I am the one who saw these first!” I yelled back.
We tangled like that for a few minutes more until the designer himself came by and broke it up. All that mattered, in the end, was that I was the one who got to wear them.
This stupid catty crap gets on my nerves and I hated to start a show in a funky mood. But I wasn’t going to let that girl ruin my night.
In any case, the show ended up going very well, no one tripped over their heels and the critics who were there all seemed impressed.
Ra$hin bounced as soon as the show was over, said he had a late night meeting with Bryce about the album.
He had been acting very peculiar lately and I wasn’t sure why.
I head over to Ra$hin’s house one night to see what was up with him,
I thought maybe he was mad about this rapper named Kiyan that he has major beef with making a diss track about him right before his album was set to drop. Everyone was talking about the track. Well, I knew Ra$hin didn’t want people focusing on a diss track about him. He wanted the focus on his upcoming album. Most of the hip-hop
stations were saying Kiyan had one up on Ra with this track.
When I got there he had a stank attitude and acting like someone had stolen his favorite toy. “What’s the matter with you?” I asked. “Nothing”, he replied flatly.
“Nothing? Well, you’re not acting like ‘nothing’ is wrong with you. What’s up with you? Why are you having an attitude with me ?”
“I don’t have an attitude. I just have a lot of things I am dealing with right now, I’m trying to put out an album or maybe you’ve been too busy strutting around Europe to notice.”
“Look, all I know is that we haven’t been together in weeks. I know I’ve been busy in the studio, but damn it would be nice to be with my girlfriend once in a while,” said Ra$hin.
“Are you for real? If we haven’t been together for a while it’s not because of my schedule homeboy. You’re the one working fifteen hour days on your album but still managing to go to the club in whatever city you’re in. So don’t try to act like it’s your long work days why we haven’t seen each other. If you can make time to kick it with your friends and those strippers in the club, then you can make time for me,” I replied angrily.
“Yeah, and you’re the main one reaping the benefits from all my hours in the studio too,” Ra$hin replied.
“Do you need a tampon? Cause you’re acting like it’s your time of the month. I don’t have time for this. I’m making a name for myself out here. If you want a woman that you can control and just collects stacks, I know a number of rats who would be willing to line up”, I told him.
He laughed and had this stupid smirk on his face. “What’s that supposed to mean?” I say. “Collect stacks? Like you’re not doing the same thing. Look at all the money I’ve put in your wallet, designer clothes I’ve put in your closet. Look at the one hundred G’s I just paid out on the car you drive!” he yelled.
I just stared at him blankly. He really went there. “Don’t even try that with me, Ra. Everything you’ve given me, you were more than happy to do so. It’s not like you don’t have the money, it’s not like you’re paying my bills!” I shouted back.
“Bills? What bills? It ain’t like you have a mortgage or rent, you and your sister inherited that house. What, you mean the electric bill? Try paying the electric bill in this house then we can talk. I may not be paying the eight or nine bills you have, but you damn sure ain’t hurting with all the thousands of dollars I spend on you every month,” he replied.
I rolled my eyes “Don’t think you’re doing anything the next man wouldn’t be willing to do”, I replied. “Is that supposed to be a threat?” he asked.
“It’s a fact. I’m out, when you grow up then you can call me,”. I turned on my heels and left.
Ra$hin and I had been fighting so much lately. I felt sometimes he was just starting stuff with me on purpose, why I don’t know. I was sick of it. If it was his way of telling me he wanted to be free then he could go on ahead and be free, just be a man about it. I didn’t need the stress in of trying to tip toe around him. I had my own crap to deal with.