Start Spreading The News

 Ra$hin knew he had been acting like an ass. He came groveling back and asked me to accompany him to New York for his album release party as well as his New Year’s Eve soiree. There was going to be so many things going on while I was there. My friends were coming to hang out and attend the parties as well. Ra$hin wanted me to meet his parents. Maybe he wanted to give me a taste of what it felt like when he met my dad. 

The renovations on Ra’s penthouse in Manhattan were recently completed. Good, I was glad we didn’t have to stay in a hotel. I
liked the finished look of the apartment now. I had never been there before but he showed me pictures of what it looked like before.

Like I said before there were a lot of things going on during our stay in New York. Ra and I go to Talina’s listening party for her new album. I don’t even know why she is bothering with making an album, but
daddy’s little girl gets what she wants. Since she and I don’t get along Ra asked me to be cool tonight. I told him I would try my best but I couldn’t make any promises.

Talina’s party was being held at the Lighthouse in Mid-town. Ugh she was so extra, looking like Mrs. Snuffleupagus or Barney in all that purple. You would think with the money her father has he could afford to buy her some class. 

Talina tried to act like I wasn’t even there. As soon as she saw Ra she made a beeline for him and they started chatting  it up like they hadn’t seen each other in ages.

I was over them being all cozy so I grabbed Ra$hin and we started making out right there in the club. I wanted to make sure Talina got a front row seat. She was totally hating.

Being that Talina and I didn’t like each other she was giving me nasty looks all night.   I was glad  that she was mad I was at her lame party.
Ra$hin said he had to go to the bathroom and told me to be good, to which I responded that I always was. Talina used this as an opportunity to start up with me. “It’s too bad when females have to act so desperate,” she mused to no one in particular it seemed. I assumed she was referring to me kissing Ra$hin.

I was so sick of her. She always had her little group of friends e-thugging me on Twitter, she had them do it so she could say she wasn’t fighting with me when Ra$hin had asked her about it once. I ignored her at first, then she continued to say things as if she were talking to anyone in general, but really directed at me.

“Females get a little taste of fame and little of that ‘good, good’ and go buckwild. They usually just end up looking stupid,” she remarked.

Okay, Mrs. Barney was tap dancing on my last nerve. ” I don’t know who you are referring to, but if it’s supposed to be to me, then you can just say it directly to me,” I told her.

“Excuse me? Who the hell are you? Yeah I was talking about you and every other dumb female like you desperate for attention. Hopping under the first big name rapper they can find,” said Talina.
“Hopping? Who is hopping? What, you mad? I’m not desperate for any attention honey, I get that all day everyday and I do it without dressing like a clown,” I retorted referring to the outlandish outfits she was known for.
“Clown?  I’ll let you know all my clothes are designer,” she replied. 

“By whom, a three year old?” I asked. She started laughing. “Yeah, a three year old’s designs that costs between one thousand to five thousand dollars,” she answered sarcastically.

“But anyway, you’re weak Reagan. I thought I’d let you know that while Ra was still wasting his time with you. You’re a whack little model who only got on once you started dating Ra. He and I have been friends for years, bitches like you come a dime a dozen,” she continued. She was starting to sound like Barrington and you know I can barely stand him.

“Go on and keep hating, it’s one of the things that suits you.  You’re such a sad little person, always in my business.  I didn’t go after Ra, he came chasing after me, trust,” I replied. Talina rolled her eyes and
opened her mouth to say something when we both saw Ra coming back from the bathroom. We decided to kill it, not because we were finished or even suddenly started liking one another, but for Ra’s sake.

 
There were quite a few people from their label The Republic and  other people I didn’t recognize. Once I saw Kiyan I knew something was going to pop off.  I mentioned before he and Ra had major beef.
I don’t really know how it started since they disliked each other before I even met Ra.

What I had read online a couple of years ago was something about Ra throwing shots on one of his friend’s tracks dissing Kiyan and his crew. Kiyan was new on the scene at the time and was really cocky claiming he was the best rapper in the game. Ra didn’t take too kindly to Kiyan’s
self-proclamation. Truth be told although Kiyan has only a couple of platinum albums under his belt and less records sold than Ra$hin, his popularity was nearly as big as his.

Apparently their issue didn’t affect Talina because Kiyan was here at her party and they knew each other socially, one of her friends had a baby with one of Kiyan’s homeboys. 
Before I met Ra, I was a fan of Kiyan’s music, still am truth be told. I’ve never told Ra this as he would only get an attitude about it. Kiyan was pretty cute too, shoot if I had met him before Ra I would’ve talked to him.

Ra$hin didn’t look too happy that Kiyan made a cameo at the party. I just hoped he stayed cool, but knowing Ra I knew there was a slim chance he would be able to. I was right.

“So what boy, you here now in my presence, you wanna say what you were crying about on that little tantrum you released?” Ra$hin asked
Kiyan referring to the diss track.

“Excuse me? You talking to me? Oh I’ll say exactly what I said to your face, homey,” Kiyan responded.

“I ain’t ya‘ homey, young buck. So what’s up?” Ra$hin said in full battle mode already.

“You’re a lame ass with whack lyrics. You need to go somewhere and enjoy this album’s success because no one will be checking for you anymore after this. Yeah that pretty much sums up what I said on the track,” Kiyan replied.

I decided to just chill at the bar, play my position and listen in. 

“That’s pretty sad, the only way you can get any static is by releasing a  track aimed at me. It’s all ‘G’ though, everyone has to start at the bottom. If taking shots at me will help you get your download count up, then cool, just give me credit for your success,” Ra$hin said.

Kiyan laughed. “Starting at the bottom? Please boy, I been out in the game a shorter time than you and less albums, but yet my downloads and hits just about equal yours. I don’t have to make a diss to get static, if anything I’m keeping you relevant,” answered Kiyan.

“Yeah when you make singles all the time and no real albums of course you’re gonna have a lot of downloads, doesn’t mean your shit is any good. Don’t ever compare any of my classics to the bullshit you call hip hop. I been in this for a long time now, playboy. Just respect the king and maybe you’ll be alright,” Ra$hin said in a threatening tone. Kiyan laughed again. I got the feeling he really enjoyed this exchange with Ra and couldn’t wait to tweet about it, while I could see Ra was really pissed.

I asked Ra to chill out and we went back downstairs. I grabbed something to munch on at the bar when I saw Ra dancing with
Talina. I wasn’t feeling that at all. That girl needed to have on about two girdles to keep all those extra pounds from swinging around on the dance floor.

I watched them for a hot minute and as soon as the song was over I motioned to Ra to join me in VIP.

“So what the hell was all that about?” I demanded.
“What? You heard, you were right there,” he answered.
“I’m not talking about you and Kiyan. I’m talking about you letting that heffa grind up on you,” I said.
“Please, Reagan, kill that noise. You really need to stop being so jealous and check yourself. I ain’t in the mood,” he replied.
“So, I don’t care. You know I don’t like that trick. She was talking all kinds of mess earlier too,” I told him. 

Ra$hin’s expression was one of disinterest, I could tell he was still mad about Kiyan. “Yeah, and I am sure you were talking shit right back,” he answered.
“While you up here defending her and she’s supposed to be your homegirl, why she got your enemy at her little party then?” I asked.

“Please, I don’t care about that. T’ and I been coo‘ since high school. And don’t turn this on me to cover your jealousy,” he replied. He then got up and said something about needing to talk to Richard, his bodyguard and went outside. That’s cool, if that’s how he wanted it. We would see who had the last laugh.

I went over to dance with Taina who had shown up late and didn’t come with Fallion. I decided to just put all that with Ra$hin out of my head but it was hard.

It was even harder once Kiyan came down and started dancing very close to me. I could smell his cologne, it was Armani and it smelled damn good on him. I could tell he was watching me out of the corner of his eye. I just acted nonchalant and continued to dance, adding in a little more swing in my hips and pop in my booty while I was at.

Before I knew it, he had slid right in front of me and started dancing with me. Usually I don’t allow dudes to dance with me if they haven’t asked first. What happened to chivalry,  when men had enough manners to ask for your permission to dance with you? Okay, I know you may be thinking I was the last person who seemed to be caught up on chivalry, but I was somewhat.

Some of that old-fashioned stuff mattered to me, probably because my dad raised me to expect a man to act a certain way because he himself
acted in a chivalrous manner even all the years he and my mother were together, not that she deserved it, but I digress. I made an exception for Kiyan in this case, mainly because I was mad at Ra. 

‘Bitch Don’t Kill My Vibe’ by Kendrick Lamar came on. The song wasn’t that new anymore but it was one of my favorites. And I was determined to not let Talina or even Ra$hin for that matter kill my vibe.

Kiyan could really move, he wasn’t stiff at all, you know what they say about men that could move their bodies on the dance floor…

Finally the party ended. It was after three in the morning when we left. I knew Ra$hin was having an attitude with me because one of his friends told him I had been dancing with Kiyan while he was outside.
Well it’s not like I was trying to hide it from him. We didn’t head back to the apartment, but instead to the heliport to take a helicopter to his house in The Hamptons. We planned on staying out there for a couple of days or so.

He decided he didn’t want to talk to me all last night until the next afternoon to let me know he was not happy about my dancing with Kiyan, which I found funny since he danced with the purple people eater.

“You know I have been trying to stay cool since last night, that’s why I didn’t say anything then. But what the fuck were you doing dancing with Kiyan Reagan?” he asked. I could tell he was trying his hardest not to blow his top. I didn’t appreciate his tone or his using curse words with me.

“First of all, don’t speak to me like that. Second of all, you got a lot of nerve questioning me when you were getting all comfy and cozy with that bitch Talina!” I yelled at him. It was officially on.

“What the hell? I’ve told you time and time again, there ain’t nothin‘ between Talina and I! She is my friend! That’s a far cry from your bumpin‘ and grinding’ with some sucka you know I don’t like!” he yelled back.

“You are really trying my patience Reagan. You are supposed to be my chick and you up in the club making me look like a damn foo‘ just because your silly ass can’t get over the fact that I have female friends,” he continued to yell. I think I could see a vein about to pop in his forehead.

“And you knew I didn’t like that hoe Minka and you still had her in your video!” I retorted.
“Oh wow, that was business. Why can’t you understand that? This shit between Kiyan and I is personal. I don’t have time to be worrying if my girl is gonna be down for me or not. Since you wanna go party with my enemies, why don’t you go the fuck on then?” Ra$hin continued to rant.

“You know what, I don’t need this. I’m loyal to a fault. Maybe you now know how it feels. You can do whatever the hell you want to, but I have to follow the rules at all times right?” I asked. I was so sick of all of this.

All we did was fight, fight, fight. What really made me mad was that he refused to see that he couldn’t just treat me like any other girl doing
what he wanted without any consequences. Maybe other girls had put up with that from him, but not me. I’ve said it many times before, I’m not the one.

“Screw you, I’m doing my own thing!” I shouted at him and left. Forget him. I got in the Rover and drove the two hours it took to get back into the city. Actually I was so pissed I sped all the way there and it took me much less than that, how long I wasn’t exactly sure.

Something has got to give I thought regarding Ra and I. We had only been in town a couple of days and we had many more plans while we were here. We would be making public appearances together, seeing our friends. I was supposed to meet his parents, and we couldn’t even get along.

I met up with Taina, Aoki, and Fallion at Bridges, a restaurant in the East Village. I was glad to have my friends with me. I had told Taina earlier on the phone while coming here about my fight with Ra. Everyone was being supportive and didn’t make any mention of him, which I was thankful for.

The girls were a good distraction for me. However, I still needed a nice stiff drink. I ordered a dirty martini, the dirtier the better I told the bartender. 

Taina asked me if I wanted to go to a club. I wasn’t really in the mood for a club. This place was fine, at least it had food and music. I didn’t feel like moving whatsoever.

After having a couple of drinks and choppin‘ it up with those guys I was feeling a whole lot better. Taina was nice enough to put on some of my favorite songs on the jukebox so I got up and danced for a little bit. Dancing was one of the things I could do naturally and it always made me feel better because I felt free while doing it. I hated to think I got that from my mother, but I couldn’t really deny it, as it had been her passion.

We stayed at Bridges pretty much for the rest of the night or at least until they closed. We decided to head over to this little hole in the wall spot, Lulu’s.

They had really good drinks there, but it wasn’t really our kind of crowd. It was a little rough. I can handle any group of people but I just didn’t want there to be any more drama for myself. We called a cab to take us to the hotel everyone was staying at. And I didn’t give a crap about leaving Ra’s Rover in a bad neighborhood either.

I ended up staying with Taina in her suite for a couple of days. Ra$hin called asking me if I was still going to come to his parent’s house. I told him I would. I needed to let him cool down and I needed to cool down myself. I told him to bring my suitcase with him since we were going to be staying at the penthouse in the city again. I already had a lot of luggage there, but I needed the stuff I had left at The Hamptons house as well.

Ra$hin had a business meeting the day  we were to go out to Queens where his parents lived. I had the urge to go shopping, I called Taina and we headed over to fifth avenue to do some major damage.

“So how are things going with you guys now?” Taina asked.

I let out a huge sigh. “Okay for now. Things are still a little on edge, but better than they were before,” I replied.

“Are you worried about meeting his mom face to face? I mean didn’t you guys have words before over the phone?” asked Taina.

She had been referring to my first not so great impression of Ra$hin’s mother. I mentioned before Ra was a huge mama’s boy and I could tell without ever have met her before his mother didn’t like the thought of another woman in his life that would come before her, never mind we all lived three thousand miles away.

She would call him a lot, no matter what time it was. If he didn’t answer his cell then she would call the house, and I’m not talking once or twice, but she would call four or five times back to back until he answered. Sometimes he really wasn’t available and I would answer, which she didn’t seem to like at all. Other times we were both busy together and neither one of us answered the phone. What did she expect at three in the morning pacific time? Sleep or not, we were still busy.

“Girl, please. I know his mama isn’t exactly a fan of mine. I don’t care though. I’m only doing this because he wants me to meet his people,” I told her.

“What I don’t get is how she is brittle towards you and you guys have never met,” Taina mused. I just shrugged without answering.

Taina and I stayed out for about another hour and I headed back to the apartment to meet Ra$hin. On our way over to Queens Ra drove me by his the projects he grew up in. I was not impressed. I don’t even know why he took me over there. Was it to prove to me how hard core he thought he was? I don’t know.

His parents of course didn’t live out there any longer, but instead lived in a middle class neighborhood. Ra$hin made the point of telling me while he did buy his mother and father a beach house in Turks & Caicos, his father refused a house from him in the States because he was a man who “made his own way in life”. Okay, good for him.

Jamar and Juana Dodge had dated each other since high school and married soon after Juana gave birth to Ra$hin’s oldest sister Princess while they were seniors. I was glad none of his sisters would be there. I had met Princess before and she was as hood as they come. She came out to Starlight Shores before with her rugrat children, all five of them, four different fathers. We didn’t exactly get along, which was another reason I knew Juana didn’t have the best impression of me from hearing the bull Princess had told her.

Ra$hin’s parents were very happy to see him, especially his mother. We exchanged pleasantries, but I could see Juana looking me up and down. I wasn’t making me feel uncomfortable, it took more than some nasty looks to make me feel uneasy. I decided to make up an excuse saying I needed to call my agent and give them some time to catch up with each other. Jamar told me I could use the guest bedroom for some privacy. I knew as soon as I had left the room, they were going to be talking about me.

“Mijo, I’m so glad to have my baby home!” Juana exclaimed.
“I am too Mami,” Ra$hin replied.
“I made your favorite pollo guisado, Mijo,” said Juana.
“I know Mami, I could smell it before we even got in the house!” replied Ra$hin.
“So does that girl even cook for my little boy?” she asked.

Ra$hin laughed. “She has a name Mami, and no she doesn’t cook,” he replied
“Doesn’t cook? What kind of woman doesn’t cook for her man? Does she know how or is she just lazy? She seems like one of those prima Donnas who orders out all the time,” Juana remarked.
“I mean, well she can cook, I’ve had her food before when she made brunch for her dad, she just doesn’t cook,” said Ra$hin.

Juana shook her head like that was the most despicable thing she’d ever heard and I was the most awful person on the planet because I wasn’t waiting on my man hand and foot. I had a career and a life.

Ra$hin sat down with his parents in the living room and continued to catch up with his father. “I hear you’ve been running into some problems with that Kiyan dude. What’s up with all of that? I heard about his little diss towards you. I also heard about your run-in with him at the club the other night,” Jamar asked his son.
“Dang Dad, have you been reading the gossip blogs or something?” Ra$hin laughed.
“No, I ain’t got time for that. But I do listen to WRAP 103 in the morning during that cereal club’s show. You’re so busy these days, it’s the only way I know what’s going on with you. Cause you damn for sure don’t know how to pick up the phone and say what’s up to your old man,” replied Jamar.

“Sorry Dad I’ve been incognito. It’s just all this business with the new album has been keeping me running and out of town so much. I hardly even see Reagan and she and I live in the same city,” he responded.

“I know, I know. I’m just giving you a hard time. You bust your ass, that’s why you’re so successful, just the way I raised you,” said Jamar.
“Yep,” replied Ra$hin.

Ra$hin called for me to let me know the food was ready. This was my first time having Dominican food. I could tell Juana prided herself on being a good homemaker. She barely said anything to me at the table. She did speak to her son and husband, but not me.  

His parents went back and forth for a little while longer. Juana made vague comments about women who didn’t know how to run a house could never expect to get married. I rolled my eyes when she said that.

She mostly gave her precious baby boy compliments and basically implied he was the best thing this side of the moon and he could do no wrong and he was perfect. It was giving me a headache.

I fortunately was raised with manners thanks to my dad and I offered to help with the dishes to which Juana replied she was okay, they had a dishwasher. “Model’s don’t want to break a nail doing dishes. Couldn’t that mess up a photo shoot?” she asked sarcastically. I was really trying my best not to go off. I didn’t have the best track record when it came to that though. I looked at Ra$hin who seemed to either not be paying attention or not caring about what his mother just said to me.

I went into the living room by myself while Ra and his dad stayed in the kitchen and had a beer. I answered a few emails and texted Taina back who had asked how my visit was going. I told her it was whack and I would explain more in person.

Nearly an hour had gone by when Juana walked into the living room.
“I’m a New Yorker and so I don’t B.S. around. I’ll get straight to the point,” she said to me. I was surprised but not really she would just come in there with an attitude.

“I really don’t think you and my son have anything in common. He has told me that you travel a lot for your work and hardly sees you because your job comes first. I’m concerned because he is living out west all by himself with no one to look after him,” Juana continued. She was acting as if Ra$hin was five years old and hadn’t been away from home for years, which he had.

I didn’t believe he said those words verbatim. I did however believe he whined to his mother about me being busy with my career. So what, he was too.

“That’s interesting if he really did say that. Are you aware of just how busy he is as well? That his work takes him away more than mine does actually?” I replied.

“Weren’t you just living in Paris? It’s one thing for him to go away for a few days at a time to work and promote his album, but he has never lived in another country,” Juana replied. She made it seem Ra$hin was going to some boring sales convention in Sarasota once or twice a month when really he was all over the place for days at a time. It was bad enough now, wait until he started his tour which the label was pushing him to do right after the album dropped.

“I wouldn’t say I was exactly living over there, more like an extended stay. I had a job to do,” I told her. My ears were starting to get hot which meant my patience was quickly wearing thin.

“You act as if your job is more important than my son!” Juana got loud.
“I didn’t say that, you did. My career is important to me, just as much as his is to him!” I answered in the same tone.

“Well my son has been into music since he was in middle school. You only fell into modeling within the last year,” she argued with me.
“Actually I did a little modeling while I was high school, but my father made me stop because it took too much away from my studies.
Once I graduated college I decided to get back into it for your information,” I said. 

“What is Victoria’s Secret requiring their models to have degrees now?” she replied smartly.
“I wouldn’t know. I’ve only modeled for high end designers, and Victoria’s Secret is not high end,” I replied, I didn’t care how much of a snob I sounded like. I knew that would get to her because I saw all these bottles and bags from Victoria’s Secret in their upstairs bathroom so I knew she shopped there.

Her face started getting red. “I try to stay out of my son’s private life…” Juana said, I scoffed when she said that interrupting her. “Like I was saying, I stay out of his private life, but I will not stand back when I know my baby is making a terrible choice in whom he decides to date. You’re a snob and a half and I don’t like you. I really don’t see you and my son lasting much longer. So I would advise you to get all the publicity and promotion out of this relationship as you can. I mean, that is why you started going out with him in the first place isn’t it?” she said.

“Seems to me like you’re the one you wish he were dating,” I told her.

“Look little girl, you can get out of my house. You don’t come in here and just speak to me any kind of way!” Juana shouted at me. The nerve, she was the one starting mess with me and being rude from the moment I stepped foot in her house.

“Oh, trust me, it would be more than my pleasure to leave your house,” I told her. We didn’t realize how loud we were getting. Ra$hin and his father came out of the kitchen.

Ra was as red in the face as his shirt. I turned around and left without another word. Ra said a quick good-bye to his parents and we headed back into the city.

We didn’t speak a word the whole car ride home. Once we got inside, Ra$hin went to take a shower. When he was done he told me how mad he was that I would argue with his mother in her own house.

“Are you kidding me? Why don’t you go talk to your mama. She was rude to me from jump and she is the one who came in the living room talking mess,” I told him.
“I don’t care. My mother is just looking out for me. How dare you disrespect my mother? When your daddy was up in my face insulting me and everything about my music I kept my cool. I didn’t get loud and disrespectful to him,” he replied.
“My father was also not blatantly rude to you either. No, he didn’t beat around the bush but he also didn’t hurl direct insults at you either!” I shouted.

“Whatever Reagan, you’ll find an excuse to fight with anybody. But don’t ever let me hear you arguing like that with my mother again. You may not have a relationship with your mother but that doesn’t mean you have to go and try to fuck up the one I have with mine,” Ra$hin said.

He went there. I did something I usually never do, and that is simply walking away. Because I knew if I stayed in that room another minute more, Ra would be getting a fist to his face. How dare he bring my mother up in that manner? He knew that was a sensitive subject for me and he just threw it in my face. I was really starting to wonder if this mess we were in was even worth it. I really didn’t know. I went into the second bedroom and stayed in there for the rest of the day and slept there by myself that night.

The next morning I found Ra$hin on the couch watching television.
“Can I talk to you for a minute?” I asked him.
“Yeah” he replied flatly.
“Well, could you please turn off the TV?” I asked. He made no motion to do so.
“Just say what you gonna say, Reagan,” he replied with irritation in his voice. I took a deep breath, like my father had taught me to do in order to stay calm in a stressful situation. It didn’t always work. 

“Look, I just think you and I need some space for a day or so. I’m going back to the hotel to stay with Taina. I still plan on going to the release party and your New Year’s shindig, don’t worry. But if you and I don’t get away from each other right now, we’ll both end up saying or doing something both of us will regret,” I told him.

From the plain emotionless expression on his face one would think he wasn’t listening and didn’t care. But I knew he heard me, how much he cared, that I wasn’t quite sure about.
After a long silence he still hadn’t said anything. “Ra$hin, did you hear me?” I knew he had.
“Do whatever you think is best for you Reagan, you always do anyway,” he replied. I chose to ignore the last part of his comment.
“Alright then, I’ll see you within the next day or so,” I said. He didn’t respond he just continued to look at that stupid TV as if it was the most interesting thing in the world.

I took the car service over to my friends’ hotel. I didn’t really want to sit around too much. I wanted to stay busy and keep my mind off my relationship and the current state it was in. I could’ve gotten my own room, but Tai had a super deluxe suite with two bedrooms and I didn’t feel much like being alone.

Taina burst into my room with a huge smile on her face. I had no idea what the heck she was so happy about and chipper about, but it made me sick.

“I have a surprise for you!” she sang happily.
“Oh wow, what is it? I hope a time machine so I can go back and not  take this trip,  maybe even not have started messing with Ra,” I said.

“Ah, C’mon. You’ll see,” she said grabbing my hand and pulling me out of the room and two blocks down from the hotel until we stopped in front of a subway station where Aoki and Fallion were also waiting.
“What’s the big surprise?” I asked dryly.
“We’re going to Brooklyn, and we’re taking the subway!” Fallion answered enthusiastically. That wasn’t like her at all. I don’t know what Fallion was so happy about. Who would be happy riding the subway? She must’ve been drunk.
“Yes! It will be your first subway ride Reagan,” Taina said.

“Oh hell no. Is your weave too tight? I ain’t ridin’ no dirty ass subway car,” I said to Taina.
Taina rolled her eyes. “Yes you are. It will be good for you. You were just telling me you wanted to do something out of the norm’ today. So we’re going to go into our old neighborhood, have some food, have a little fun and not worry about anything,” she answered.
“Yeah Reagan, it will be fun. I’ve only ridden the subway a few times before, but it can be cool. You see all kinds of strange things and strange people,” Aoki chimed in.
“I don’t want to see anything strange. If I want to see something strange I can just watch the Discovery channel,” I complained. I knew I was outnumbered in this decision and I for once in my life didn’t have any fight left in me. So I gave in.

**********SUB-CHAPTER: SIMONE ‘POISON’ SWAY**********

I made good money from dancing, but I wasn’t ballin‘ the way I needed to be. While the money was cool and all, I had a lot of family members I took care of and depended on my income like my mama and grandma. They didn’t live with me, they lived in Flatbush where I am from, but my mom couldn’t work right now because she had a baby recently and had my other little brothers and sisters to take care, none of whom daddies was doin‘ shit for them.

My grandma lived with my mama and siblings. She had bad diabetes and recently suffered from a stroke and she wasn’t eligible for Medicare yet and didn’t have any insurance so all her medications cost a lot of money.

Ra$hin called me up saying he was back in town and wanted to see me. Since I had out of town family staying at my apartment in The Bronx and he said paparazzi were stalking his apartment we decided to just go meet up at a very discreet hotel in lower Manhattan that catered to celebrity guests.

It was our third time meeting each other after I initially met him at Mr. Goodbar the club I worked at. We had a bomb first night together. He even flew me out to Starlight Shores once to see him while his girl Reagan Leeds was out of town.

I couldn’t care less he had a girl. She obviously wasn’t doing something right if he was calling my phone. I’ve never met her personally, but she seemed like one of those females who thought they were the best thing poppin‘ and they’re not.

I guess she didn’t like it when Ra$hin came to the club that one time because ever since then she has taken it upon herself to start shading pole dancing and all females who do what I do on Twitter and Instagram, like what we did was beneath her.

She was a hater because her man came in and spent thousands of dollars on me that night and it embarrassed her when the story and the pictures got out online.

Oh well, while she was so occupied with her hating she needed to be keeping a better eye on her man. Wasn’t my fault he was coming to me. Ra$hin and I barely spoke of her when we were together, but I got the feeling she was difficult and hard to deal with at times. She was also stuck on herself. She never puts Ra’s needs first from what he has implied.

No, what Ra needed was a girl like me. Someone who would co-sign for him at all costs, a ride or die chick, someone who was there one hundred percent of the time. He needed me. Even if that didn’t happen, I had plenty of other options form all the celebrities and ballers who came to the club and I danced for.

I was the top dancer at my club, hell even one of the best in the whole city. My stage name was ‘Poison’, yes you guessed it, because I was dangerous and a man eater. I know that sounds funny, but I earned my reputation for good reason which is why I was the most requested girl for private dances and I only worked in VIP.

A lot of the other girls there hated on me, but I was used to that. Females have been hating on me since before I was even born on account of they hated on my mama when she was pregnant with me.

 
I was glad I wasn’t working the night Ra wanted to see me. I was so excited to see him. I went and got my hair and nails done, I went to the spa for a complete body rejuvenation wrap. I came out there with skin soft as a baby’s bottom. Speaking of babies, I wish I had of known for sure Ra was going to see me when he came out, I possibly could’ve stopped taking my birth control. Oh well, there’s always next time

I arrived in the room first. Ra$hin didn’t want to be spotted coming in or out with anyone. “Damn, baby, you’re looking good,” he said. He was smelling all kinds of good and he was looking fine too.

I purred a little “You don’t look so bad yourself, Daddy,” I told him.

The next thing I knew Ra$hin threw me on the bed and you can guess what happened after that. I don’t need to give you the play by play. Let’s just say whatever was bothering Ra about his girl, was no longer even on his mind. Reagan, who?

**********REAGAN’S POINT OF VIEW**********

I was irritated riding on a damn subway. Someone would probably see me, tweet about it and the next thing you know folks would’ve been saying I was broke and in the poorhouse or something. Okay maybe not that extreme, but still. I was even more mad because it had started raining. Thankfully I grabbed my umbrella before we left the hotel.

I hadn’t eaten anything yet. We stopped into the first little coffee shop by the subway.
“How did you like your first subway ride Reagan?” Aoki asked.
“I didn’t. Remind me to throw away this outfit when we get back to the hotel, it’s contaminated now,” I replied.

Don’t judge me. I had picked up a little nasty habit in the last couple of days. I was stressed out and I hadn’t smoked anything since high school when my father caught me out in the basketball court behind our house and grounded me for a month.

I blamed Ra$hin for this added stress and I also blamed Fallion because she was the one who suggested I have a smoke with her. Okay, no one forced me to do it. I would quit before I got back home, I just needed something to carry me through into the new year. I would definitely have to stop before Drill Sargent Kennedey found out about it. Not that I was scared of my own little sister, but her lectures were so annoying. I would rather get a tooth pulled with no anesthesia then hear her version of the surgeon general’s warning on smoking.

We may have gotten over here by subway, but I would not be taking it back, that’s for sure, they could if they wanted to. We headed across the street to this little billiards spot.

“Come on now, you know loved riding on the subway. I saw you checking out that hairy sweaty guy with no pants on,” Taina joked. I started laughing, that was an image I would pay to have burned out of my memory.

“Please, girl I told you you needed to come get your man,” I said laughing.

Despite everything that had been going on, I was having fun again. The girls and I goofed around and danced into the rest of the night and I was glad I allowed myself to not resist for once. 

***Author’s note, I added a slide show of Simone’s pictures of her working at Mr. Goodbar from chapter 4 and this chapter as well on You Tube. You can see the slide show Here.